I don't need no stinking cards. If someone's being an asshole, I just go ahead and tell them. Yeah, I'm that bitch on the corner that yells at teenagers driving by to "Slow down, punk!"

Today, while looking for parking at Home Depot, I spied a minivan parked in the striped handicapped no-parking space. She/He had a bumper sticker that said something to the effect of "Angels watch over me." I was going to write "Did the Angels tell you it was okay to prevent the disabled guy parked next to you from getting out of his car?" But I didn't, because by the time I came out of the store, she and her hoard of children were loading up. I would have accosted her, but I was afraid of her hoard. So, maybe the card would have come in handy after all.

In fact, after reading through the reasons listed, I'm afraid I might end up getting a couple of these cards.

So, congratulations to me. Bitch.